Parenting now is not a kid’s play

Yesterday a huge newspaper advertisement about a baby show at neighborhood school glared at me. I looked at it and then ignored it and then gave it a sly look. I knew for sure that my Mr Right doesn’t get excited about such shows. His reason: “my baby is not to be upheld for advertising of any sorts, whatever he is… he is good enough for me”.

Right then a neighbor – who is also a close friend and has a son about the same age as my son – popped a Whatapp message, “hey lets go to this baby show tomm…. It will be a good exposure for kids ”.

The school in question is located in the next corner, so all sorts of excuses ran futile. On the pretext of inquiring about school fee and curriculum I dished out a proposal for attending the baby show to Mr Right. Surprisingly he agreed (may be because I mentioned the school curriculum and admission inquiry instead of the baby show).

Today, it was icy cold but I was surprised to see harried parents running towards school along with their kids. And kids, my my, were dressed in attires cut straight from Bollywood. A little girl had put on fairy dress, a boy was dressed as krishna, another one was dressed as politician, and my kid was in the rockstar avatar. I had done the basic minimum – put him rugged jeans and jacket and a spiked hair. Every kid beamed with smile, chased balloons at the school campus, got busy drinking cola and munching chips.

Of course there were the regular rounds to judge a kids’ activities, parents’ awareness and other things. What struck me was that there were so many parents even from very humble backgrounds. This whole glitz wasn’t just about middle class people. Also the awareness rounds proved that every parent had decent knowledge about hygine, good eating habits and even about inculcating good habits in kids.

A decade ago the numbers for such parents could have been less. Almost all parents were curious about admissions, curriculum, schedules etc. Given the fact that most kids there were below 3 years and the concern that parents had for these kids and learning processes was really noteworthy.  I cant really say if so much concern is a good thing or not but then in a society where good schools = good marks = good future equation holds prominence what else can you expect from a parent?

Here’s why you should not marry your daughters early

I had earlier written about my household help’s youngest daughter taking to school and computer classes eagerly despite all odds @ this post http://yojanasharma.blogspot.in/2012/06/just-another-reason-why-life-just.html

This girl came to visit me yesterday. She drops in occasionally at my place to pick old magazines. I have a one year old running around the house and keeping magazines on table is like inviting him to tear off the magazine and reading leisurely is the last thing on my agenda these days. Just to get rid of the guilt of not reading magazines, I feel happy in lending them to the maid’s daughter who will learn some new things from that stash.

This girl is barely 17, tall, lanky and decently dressed always. She smiles very rarely but has an intelligent gleam in her eyes. Besides the magazine, she doesn’t talk much. This time however she had a polite request.

Initially, I didn’t hear it properly. I turned around and inquired about the request. She had spotted my son’s walker kept alongside rags under the staircase. He has grown from that phase of taking initial steps and doesn’t need the walker anymore. She inquired about its usage with my kid. I replied negative, “he doesn’t need it now. Its just occupying space here”. She replied, “If you don’t mind, can you please lend this for my sister’s son. He is 6 months old and has started taking his first steps, we can't afford to buy this for him, and its required just for few months”.

I knew for sure that the elder two sisters work along with the mother to make a living. The one in question – is the second daughter – is barely 19, was married around 2012 in a haste. Then, the mother, had come asking for gifts. And this year she has a 6 months old kid!

What is with Indians and marrying girls early? Here was one daughter who was married very young, had a kid and was fighting daily battles to earn two square meals for her family. She was looking for a walker for her kid, while the other one was more fortunate, had little education and was looking for magazines to gain education and move up in life.

Girls who are married off early become mothers soon and things like education, freedom of thought, decent lifestyle, food, health, nutrition and making it big in life comes to a halt. Girls who study further have a chance to take up jobs, earn salary, support their families, gain self-confidence, have a decent lifestyle and make happy and healthy mothers later.

Of course I gave away the walker but this is just the beginning of a dark road for this mother. What starts with borrowing a walker, becomes a struggle for decent schooling and living later. And the only person who suffers in this situation is the woman of the house.

Time to think guys, lets talk about it among our own circle. If we can change the fate of one such would be young mother then it’s a job well done. What say?

 

When vacations become 'I want no vacations'

What's with Delhi and vacations? Or if I may be little more precise, what's with everybody and 4 day long vacation. A sudden 4 day long vacation comes up and everybody get packing to the nearest hill station. And the first question that everybody asks is: "aren't you going anywhere?"


I honestly replied to a neighbour, "no, with 1 year old prank machine I can’t think of going on a trip as such. I have plans for some shopping spree where I can regale him in day time and be back so as to not interrupt his food-potty-pee-nap schedule. And to my dismay she glared at me and replied "ya that happens". And this comes from a 40 year old woman who has raised 3 kids.


- Is it mandatory that everybody should be going 'somewhere' to spend vacations?
- Is staying at home and having fun your way not vacationing?
- Is it bad on my part of think of my little boy and not go on vacation?


As it turns out that she had plans to go to Shimla - my home town and wanted me to help with her boarding and lodging. I did give her some references but she wasn't as organized as I had expected her to be. She left everything for the  last minute and as luck to have it almost all boarding options - hotels, lodges, guest houses, PGs etc have been more than full this season there. Shimla is close to Delhi hence is an obvious choice for holiday goers.


With her 3 kids, husband and an aged MIL she stepped out of Delhi in her swanky SUV in a hope to book hotel on the spot. And after finding no option she has been buzzing me to help her. I want to have a hearty laugh now but thinking of her plight I feel sorry. Its like vacation become harrowing and that can happen to anyone. No offenses taken but yes, I don’t want to go on this kind of a vacation. 


Lesson for me - plan things in great detail, especially when you have family along. You can sleep on a log of wood but your kids can't.