Thursday, February 25, 2010

Hard worker v/s smart worker

We live in strange times. Mommy said (and my fave teacher Sister Melba agreed) 'hard work is the key to success'. Work culture, however, tends to cut this line short. They say 'smart work is the only way to grow up the ladder'.

While many of us strive to learn the ethics of smart work (and practice them eventually), here's a quick take into our office lives. The hard worker v/s the smart worker:

Hard worker will prepare ten documents and will send just one mail describing the intent of all ten documents.
Smart worker may prepare one document but will send ten mails on this subject to ten bosses.
Who wins: The Smart worker. Right document to the right people. How does it matter if the bosses do not have to implement these documents and they do not need it anyway?

Hard worker will be in office on time, work uninterrupted and leave at the stipulated time.
Smart worker will come just 5minutes before his boss reaches office, works long hours only if his boss is around and dashes out just 5 seconds after his boss has left the office.
Who wins: The Smart worker. Be present at the relevant time. This is called 'visibility'.

Hard worker will identify a group of friends who share similar tastes and sticks to them at lunch breaks and coffee breaks.
Smart worker will identify the habits of his boss and ensure that he inculcates some of them, get access to his boss's lunch group. He will have coffee only if his boss has coffee. Else, he will shun caffeine altogether.
Who wins: The Smart worker. Caffeine kills. Have it occasionally. Meanwhile the hard worker has got high BP because of high coffee intake.

Hard worker knows the names of all family members of his colleagues.
Smart worker knows the habits, dietary routine, BP levels, Blood Group of his boss. That all. Unnecessary info not required.
Who wins: The Smart worker. Boss khush to hum khush

More inputs required for this post. Please share your ideas in the comments section.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Top ten reasons why you should fall sick more often

This post is straight out of heart.

I was down with viral fever last week. Had to gobble down bitter antibiotics and went though miserable blood tests, but I still loved it!!! SURPRISED?

Enlisting top ten reasons why you will love to fall sick more often, also some things that you may miss:

1. Your spouse will not crib while running the house-hold errands on your behalf. He/she will volunteer to clean the dishes, make your bed, iron clothes, clean the cupboards and cuddle you - without any expectations of returned favours (amazing).
What you will miss: Fighting with your spouse. There's just no reason left for argument :(

2. Your parents will check on you 20 times a day to find about your well-being (something they had forgotten after you crossed your teens). Sweet greetings like betu, raje, chotu will be repeated 10 times in one conversation. 
What you will miss: Their regular coarse tone, emotional blackmails like pata nahin tum kab samjhoge (when will you understand) :(

3. Your in-laws will cross all bridges to be with you. They'll be at your bed-side 24x7 to offer you the tissue paper even before you need one.
What you will miss: Your space. Almost everybody wants to hug you. Hasn’t anyone head of privacy  :(

4. Your siblings (who have long forgotten the art of gifting) will send you surprise flowers and get-well-soon cards.
What you will miss: Mindless arguments. Siblings are being toooooo good to you, and you just can’t handle it  :(

5. Your spouse's siblings will send you choicest chocolates and some cute teddy for company in the sick bed. She/he may even become the liaison officer between you and the doctor, checking on which medicine has to be taken at what time and which medication may cause side-effects.
What you will miss: You will have to gulp down all bitter painkillers without complaining, you will be forced to munch on spinach salad and you better not complain about it :(

6. Best of all, your colleagues will request you to stay at home and take rest while they slog it out in the workplace. Of course, they aren't jealous of you at this point of time and they don't want to trade places with you at least now.
What you will miss: Office gossips, the freak water cooler moments, tea breaks :(

7. Household help will come and gladly ask if there's any more work left to be finished, which is a rare opportunity. She pities your condition.
What you will miss: Grinding your teeth after the maid is gone. She hasn't left any work undone for the day, no reasons for you to complain :(

8. Your neighbours (who generally glare at you from their balconies) will step ahead to hold your hand while you are walking down the lane. They'll talk about sober things like have your seen the doc, what medicines has he prescribed etc. No more dress/car/sofa comparisons.
What you will miss: Latest neighbourhood gossips, no body mentions extra-marital affairs to a sick soul :( 

9. Your subordinates will call you/text you  frequently to check on your health. They want to create a good impression. After all you are the boss here.
What you will miss: Can't lecture them on using time effectively. After all you also love the ego-massage :)

- Your experiences may become a blog post.
What you will miss:  Everybody will come to know what you think of them :(

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

'A piece of Blackberry cake, please'

“And… a piece of Blackberry cake please,” I said.

This was at lunch table in a fancy restaurant. Mom and dad had come down to meet me and their beloved son-in-law last week. I was to treat everybody for lunch. Since my parents like Indian fare, we booked ourselves for lunch at Sawagat in Noida’s Sector 18 market.

Very confidently I placed the order for main course and then finished it with instructions for dessert. I didn’t check the menu card since I knew that mom-dad wont try anything except dal makhni or kadai chicken. I summed the order with a piece of “Blackberry cake”.

Everybody stared at me, I retorted back with a damn-care look. I asked, “what,…. what is wrong with it?” Vishal came closer to me and announced, “Blackberry is a phone. I think you are asking for blueberry cheese cake.” Ouch.

I was busted. Flushed with embarrassment, I checked the menu again. There was no mention of Blackberry cake. They did serve blueberry cheese cake though.

I put up a plastic laughter – like they do at comedy shows – and then corrected the menu :(

Monday, February 1, 2010

Is it bad to compare yourself with others?

A defensive question of sorts... actually it’s an ode to the fact that like million others, I too compare myself with others.

This comes like introspection after a long discussion with dad. He says our generation is materialistic. He adds that we all want best gizmos, best jobs, best salaries at very young age. We tend to compare ourselves with fellows around and constantly live in a comparative world and we don't mind taking short cuts to achieve these goals. This according to him was a) succumbing to peer pressure b) a very materialistic instinct and c) not a very good practice.

He says one should work hard, pursue individual goals but certainly don't cringe and cry when others do better than you. "Let them do what they have to," is his advice. He believes that unnecessary peer-pressure (things like my colleague has a bigger car, my cousin has a high paying job etc) will only lead to frustration.

I was on the defensive best. I said, “What’s bad with that? Who doesn't want to buy a bigger car, who doesn't want to buy the biggest villa in town? It's just another way of being ambitious. Until you compare yourself with others, you will never have that zeal to outshine them and become better in the process."

We try to measure our achievements (say salary, job prospects etc) to live up to certain expectations. Is it bad? And is it bad to be love all these things altogether? Is it bad to be materialistic? By materialistic I mean I'd love to be rich, I'd love to buy expensive clothes and I'd love to be famous. Who does not? Who wants to die poor? But this comes with terms and conditions that all these things will be earned and not stolen/bribed through. I mean I will not kill people to be up there on the ladder.

He doesn't agree with one single thought here. And our argument continues till date.