Ten Things You'll Learn in First 2 Years of Your Marriage

Last week was a landmark of sorts as I celebrated two years of my marriage. These two years have been the busiest years of my life (this may look repetitive but believe me these were MAD years) where all my worldly knowledge, patience and skills were put to test. Here's a low-down on how these years passed:

 (Dedicated to Vishal Sharma)

- When your maid, cook & driver's phone no. are on top of your phone's 'Speed Dial' list

- When your maid's health matters more to you than your own sickness :)

- When your driver shows up in the morning, and you beam with happiness and recite 'Thank God. He's here"

- When Saturday shopping spree is replaced by weekly grocery stuff

- When you return from vacations carrying piece of native furniture/ethics paintings/artwork as memento. The regular retail list for bag, shoes, face packs, clothes is a forgotten story.

- When 'I have some personal work' excuse defines chores like attending distant relatives' anniversaries, neighbourhood get-togethers, loner landlord falling sick and you attending to him, some kiddie's b'day bash. All sorts of random things that you can't define and describe in corporate circles.

- When you'll find yourself fretting over recipes, how-to-clean-haldi-stains more often

- When you become a liaison officer between your parents, in-laws, distant relatives. Making sure each one gets equal footage (that word jus crept in form the work dictionary)

- When you'll surf internet mostly to download recipes

- When you buy Nalli sarees and call them 'investment' because you know it well that you'll wear them once your lifetime. Later your daughter may cut out a dress for herself using this saree (and you’ll happily oblige – at least its being used).

What you get in bargain:

- A long list of new-found relatives; and gradually many of them will be on your friends' list

- Your skill set on 'what-to-speak-when' will improve dramatically

- You will learn this secret art of smiling and attending guests even when you have chronic migraine. Much needed in life, especially in office. 

This is an endless list and will keep adding to it. You are most welcome to add on to this list.

Real life tales .... wish they were untrue

Just heard a story where a woman returning from office at midnight was struggling to open the lock of main gate to her house while her family slept peacefully saying that the gate is already open and assuring that she can just walk in easily. She spent 5 mints standing on main gate figuring the lock and other hinges of the gate. Now knowing how 'safe' Delhi is – whether day or night -, had the woman been mauled outside her house (as we know has happened in some cases in Delhi), would the family muster courage to admit that they had been careless in this entire situation? Probably, they could’ve claimed that it was woman's fault for returning home at wee hours – “what’s the need, you see?”. 

Would they admit that they'd been careless handling the entire situation? Is sleep so precious that you can compromise on somebody’s safety?

U-turn in entertainment

Till recently, we have watched Tv serials 'inspired' or plainly adapted from movies, where the serial's story-line simply follows a popular movie's plot and it eventually becomes successful. Recent one is 'Pyaar Ki Ye Ek Kahani' (PS: title is as tacky as the series) which is very similar/inspired to the popular vampire love story Twilight series. Also there's 'Love U Zindagi' running on TV which is an adaptation of 'Jab We Met'.


Now this trend is about to change with successful serials replicating their story lines on the 70mm screen. We recently had 'Khichdi: The Movie' in 2010 which was a cinematic adaptation of the famous tele-series by the same name. Now Pankaj Kapoor's famous Office Office joins this league. Kapoor's new movie (tentatively titled) 'Pension Ki Tension' which is a take-off of his popular sitcom Office Office. Kapoor, along with his co-stars from the TV serial are living up their tele-image on the big screen as well.

If this movie is a hit or not is yet to be seen but it is certainly a pointer of many new trends coming in entertainment.

BTW, do you want any specific tele-series to be made into a movie? You can share in the 'comments' section.

Hair and there... Wise-crack from an ordinary day

Bad hair day turns out to be the day when I was noticed most. The usual morning rush and migraine stroke didn't leave me much time to wash hair this morning. Result: I landed in office with olive oil dripping from my hair.


I hoped to lie-low and just be confined to my workstation all day. Just then an urgent department meeting was called. My super-boss introduced us to his successor and everybody stooped ahead for a generous hand-shake with the new guy. With dismal smile of my face and oil-soaked hair I also welcomed him. I'm sure he nick-named me 'oily', 'greasy-looking' or any other phrase that suits this description in Japanese. (PS: my super-bosses are Japanese)

"What an impression," I yelled at myself and walked back grudgingly to the workstation. In next hour, we got a mail about formal lunch in the honour of my new super-boss. Entire floor was invited for the fiesta... "humiliation" was the only word running on my mind then.

I got along with three other female colleagues, who in turn give me 'oh-there's-something-wrong-with-your-hair' look. Of course in corporate squares such things are never mentioned directly, your looks say it all. I quickly put up false attitude and pretence, but sub-cautiously I tried to hide myself in the crowd, I tried stay behind of others, I tried to walk next to the wall and tried out ten more cheap tricks to make myself invisible.

Horror struck when I found the cafeteria full of dignitaries and expat officers, of course including all top-bosses. The MD called for everybody's attention, introduced new super-boss, thanked the present super-boss and called for quick introduction with prominent people in the place.

Department heads stood up for introductions, suddenly I heard my immediate-boss's name. I froze, she was sick and hence out-of-office. I stepped forward to tell everybody about the situation, the present super-boss called me to explain 'little' about our team. With oily hair I marched ahead, managed an impressive speech about internet, websites, social media etc. I step down and more introductions continued.


The generous new super-boss took over the stage. He didn’t remember most names, so he used generic references to thank all people there. And then he lobbed a bomb at me, he thanked me referring to me as "the lovely lady with stylish hair-do" - I had just waited for this moment. Wanted to die-that moment but thought about my parents and discarded the idea. Now, everybody's been teasing me with this incident.

PS: Many here think that new-boss is impressed with my hair-style, wish I could tell him the truth.

(This post is a work of fiction, it doesn’t have references to actual people)

Sachin and his (im)possible makeover

‘Is Sachin Tendulkar undergoing a makeover?’ I asked myself. But then I dumped this question outright and realised that Sachin is definitely not a person who needs/has to undergo image makeover. He has a larger-beyond-life persona and things like makeover are only for attention-deficient glam dolls, Sachin stands at a pedestal beyond comparison and explanation.



My reason for such a question is this advt -

Just spotted this advertisement of a popular brand of cameras that Sachin Tendulkar endorses. Noticed that Sachin’s hair have been morphed - our Master Blaster is known for his eccentric curls and this advt. features him in straight hair. For once I thought that this could be Sachin’s attempt at make-over, but this could well be a photoshop job. No offence but I like Sachin with curls, with his trademark sincere look and down-to-earth attitude.

Big Boss 4 – Seema brings back old memories

Big Boss 4 comes to an end today. Not that I watched it every day or I will miss the drama there, in fact I'm happy that it’s over and here's hoping it may be replaced by some meaningful/entertaining show. I don’t detest this show, but didn’t find it entertaining enough. I only watched its handpicked episodes and that too for the sake of just one person - Seema Parihar. Sounds unbelievable, but it’s true.

She was certainly the most non-glamorous characters in the BB house and possibly the only one who didn’t have any big recollections to flaunt there. Throughout her stay there, she seemed like the only one who didn’t utter swear words. That seems like too much of a big deal for a person who has seen a rather rough side of life, when compared to other contestants who seemed city bred and so-called well cultured.

I had spoken to her way back in 2006 when I was working with HT and was doing a story for cinema section. The story was about real people telling their own stories through films. Seema had then just finished shooting for her biopic - Wounded directed by Krishna Mishra. You can read it here - http://www.hindustantimes.com/Real-heroes-take-to-reels/Article1-107951.aspx

My conversation with her was very short but it was a very frank account of her life. She told me she didn’t need glycerine to act in her film because a mere recollection of her past life and incidents make her cry. She told me she is very uncomfortable settling in big city life. Now, it seems she has become more comfortable with people and the ways city life. Saw her jiving to Munni Badnam and whatever numbers. Good luck to her, hope she remains as rooted to her sensibility as she seemed.

Eleven resolutions for 2011

Even though making resolutions may sound obsolete in this age, I still feel it’s a good practise because its puts you in a thinking mode about your personal goals. Even if you achieve just half of them, you would be able to change your life by some miles. 

So here go my 11 resolutions for the year 2011 – 

1.       - Get rid of driver’s phobia and not think that everybody on the road is about to hit me when I’m at the wheel

2.       - Get back to reading, even if I can finish just one book in three months

3.       - To stop watching stupid Bollywood flicks and instead spend this time and money on buying books

4.       - Get into fab zone, a possible U-turn from the flab zone where I’m currently headed

5.       - Remember imp birthdays even if I have to get a tattoo to put all the dates

6.       - Stop thinking about office when I’m at home

7.       - Not obsess about rules and regulations everywhere, especially when I’m in Noida

8.       - Just chill at times

9.       - Take short trips back home more regularly

10.   - Learn pottery painting

11.   - Last, but the most IMPORTANT – get a punching bag to my divert anger